At 41, I was an executive for an $11 billion company with a list of successes under my belt.
But, there was a big problem.
All that career success didn’t translate to the rest of my life.
My life looked like this:
Zero hobbies – I had no time or energy.
Missed children’s events – I was either traveling or leading a presentation.
Cancelled social dates – Deadlines were looming and I needed to clear my calendar.
Interrupted vacations – Urgent emails and workplace emergencies never stopped.
Distracted conversations – Workplace issues took my concentration away from someone else.
35 visits to the doctor in 1 year – Extensive testing to figure out why I was always sick.
Minimal exercise – I commuted 1.5 hrs each way and was out of house from 5:50 a.m. – 7:30 p.m.
I was secretly burned out, unfulfilled, and living a very uninteresting life.
Where was the success in that?
8 years ago I decided to change that. Today, I am living my BEST life.
One of the many things I learned on my wellness journey is:
The way I succeeded in the workplace held me back from succeeding at life.
Here are 4 ways I succeeded at work that didn’t work for my life.
1. Never accept NO for an answer.
In my old role, I led a project that would save the company over $4 million dollars.
I was given less than a week to get a huge partnership agreement signed.
There were a lot of red lines and “NOs” to overcome with minimal time.
I worked tirelessly and through the night for over a week to finalize the contract.
We eventually signed the deal by the deadline.
SUCCESS!
Except…
I don’t remember much about the celebration. I’m not even sure I received a thank you.
I do remember I nearly landed myself in the hospital with the flu.
I then relapsed with bronchitis.
That lingered and developed into asthma.
Here’s my new rule for success:
When it comes to protecting my health and well-being, some things are a solid “NO.”
p.s. That partner is long gone from my old employer. I’m still living with a weakened respiratory system.
2. Launch big or don’t launch at all.
Working as a marketer at an iconic beauty company, we were taught –
“You have one chance to be successful with the consumer, so make it big!”
I carried that mindset into the rest of my life.
There was trouble with that.
It kept me constantly reaching for perfection and grandness before ever taking a step.
It held me back from testing new experiences and ideas.
It’s why I was afraid to start my own business for more than 20 years.
Thank goodness I finally overcame that.
At 45 years old, I started my own business.
Guess what?
My first launch consisted of two paying clients on Zoom.
Since then, I’ve:
Worked with hundreds of leaders across 5 different continents
Cultivated a community nearing 8,000 professionals
Spoken to audiences reaching more than 16,000
And, I am building a private wellness/nature retreat in the Catskills region of NY
Here’s my new rule for success:
Bold changes start with tiny steps. Big gains come from small shifts.
p.s. Success doesn’t happen overnight. Even Usain Bolt crawled before he ever ran.
3. Be proactive, never reactive.
Companies invest heavily in leadership courses to develop Strategic Thinking.
Imagining a future scenario and planning for it now is exactly what’s expected of strong leaders.
This doesn’t always work to our advantage in life.
For instance,
After months of planning for the launch of my business, the pandemic shut down the world the week of my first event.
I lost thousands of dollars and my business plan went down the drain.
My father passed away before he and my mom could enjoy the retirement they’d been planning for years.
They missed out on years of happy experiences because they kept planning for a future date.
My friend pre-paid an annual club membership to reduce the expense. She attended only 1 meeting.
Her eagerness to proactively save a few hundred dollars turned into a wasted investment of over $2,000.
How many times have you exhausted yourself trying to be proactive only to find it didn’t matter, didn’t pan out, or it cost you more in the end?
You can make all the plans in the world, what comes tomorrow is never guaranteed.
Here’s my new rule for success:
Live so sure of yourself that you can react instantly to signals when you see them.
Joy and opportunity are found in the present.
p.s. That means, stop planning and start testing. And for goodness sake, start living.
4. Vulnerability means you are weak or incapable.
When my father was in the end stage of his illness, I asked my employer for a flexible work arrangement. (note, this was PRE-pandemic)
As a divorced mom, raising two grade-school children, commuting 1.5 hours each way to work, I knew I would need the energy and time to be there for my parents in the months to come.
It was the first time in 20 years I made a request to accommodate my personal life. As a woman, admitting to struggle at home raised eyebrows at work.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised my request was not only met with resistance, it also raised suspicion whether I was capable of continuing to lead my executive role.
I felt angry and embarrassed from that conversation. I also felt strength.
For the first time in 20 years I represented myself truthfully.
And by doing that, I was able to clearly see the stark difference between my values and the values of my employer.
It’s all the clarity I needed to choose what was best for me. I felt liberated.
Here’s my new rule for success:
Always show up fully as you. You will find out very quickly whether you are among the right company or in the right place.
p.s. Being vulnerable is hard. But, being real is much easier than wearing a façade.
>>>>>>
Nothing has changed my life more than changing my definitions for success.
I finally stopped sacrificing the best parts of my life, and certainly the best parts of me.
Today, I am succeeding on a whole new level.
>>>>>
Here’s one more thing I learned that took a while for a go-getter like me to understand –
The universe doesn’t care about your success. It only cares about WHO YOU ARE.
Who are you when you are at your best?
If you want to have a successful day today, go be THAT person.
Xo, Alyson
p.s. When you feel ready, here are 2 more ways you can drastically increase the power, purpose, and well-being in your life…
PowerPath to Joy to become CEO of your life. This private coaching partnership will help you powerfully live the life you only thought possible in another lifetime.
Joyless to Joyous to reclaim time, energy, and joy you’ve been sacrificing for your work. Our 6-week virtual masterclass runs twice per year.
